Brač Island: Phallic Objects, Churches, Mountains, Beaches, and a Whole Lotta Food
Croatia Travel Food

Brač Island: Phallic Objects, Churches, Mountains, Beaches, and a Whole Lotta Food

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After visiting Krka National Park, we drove south and stopped in the seaside town of Trogir for a short visit. The center of the town has a stunning 16th century church. It was almost closing time, but we climbed up the tower. As we were the only ones, we took the opportunity to shoot a few videos and admire the panoramic views.

Church in Trogir, Brac Island, CroatiaTrogir 16th century church tower, Croatia

We followed that up with a walk through old cobblestoned streets, where we randomly met an older man claiming to be a Golden State Warriors fan. We continued strolling on the harbour, with its impeccable stone promenade and line of terraced restaurants.
Street in Trogir, CroatiaBoardwalk in Trogir, Croatia

Crossing the Deep Blue Sea to the Island of Brač

As the afternoon was coming to an end, we drove on to the Split harbour to take our ferry to the island of Brač. After a 45-min boat ride, we arrived in Supetar, in the northeastern part of the island.

Good to know
The main (and only?) ferry company is Jadrolinija (http://www.jadrolinija.hr/en). They have around 11 car ferries a day from Split to Supetar (Brač), so plenty of options to choose from. Other options to go to Brač include Milna and Bol, but they’re both only catamaran, so you can’t take a car.

We arrived in Supetar passed nightfall and had trouble finding our hostel, as our phones were down. We stopped at a luxury hotel and Jarelle walked in, looking cleary homeless and out of place, asking for directions. We finally arrived at the hostel, which the little elder owner lady told us was a summer house that they reconverted into a hostel. Jarelle wanted to interview her, but she didn’t understand that concept and was puzzled that a young African-American male would be interested in her life.

Across our abode was the only open restaurant at this late hour, so we made sure they kept a continuous line of bellboys to feed our insatiable appetite. It was the first time Jarelle’s unsophisticated American palate tried squid and the only thing he could say was that “it tastes like chicken…” He has so much to discover!

Seafood plate in Supetar, Brac Croatia

After a good night sleep, we headed out into town to look at the beautiful church, and browse the shopping street.

We got sucked in some souvenir shops which featured some 30€ sex concierge services and colorful penis statuettes. I’ve seen them pretty much everywhere now: in Croatia and in the Canary Islands… I’ve seen giant wooden phallic statues in cave sanctuaries in Cambodia (not kidding).

sex souvenir in Supetar, Brač (Croatia)Colorful penis statuettes in Supetar, Brač (Croatia)

Going down the Penis rabbit hole (NSFW)

Because I’m always curious about patterns, and it bothered me not to understand this one, I HAD TO do a bit of research (well, ok, a lot of research).

Did you know that in Bali, the representations of the male genital are actually symbols for good luck! As most Balinese population are Hindus, in the religion, the penis represents the supreme god, Shiva Linga.

In fact, men used to wear these penis charms around their necks to ward off spirits and bad luck!

Doing more research on this quirky topic, I discovered the penis was everywhere in the ancient world. In Ancient Greece, they’re omnipresent: the fertility God Priapus (depicted with a giant penis) also doubled as a guardian (echoing the symbolism of Asian cultures). Greeks used to carry giant dildoes during ceremonies to the God of Wine, Dionysus. They were a symbol as much for women as for men and figured in a number of women-only festivals in the form of phallic costumes and phallic cakes (a.k.a. the original bachelorette parties).

5th century BC to 2017: the more things change, the more they stay the same…

Herm statues use to feature penises while the satyr, a mythological creature who was the male companion of Dionysos, used to be depicted with a giant errect penis.

Wall painting in Pompeii depicting a satyr and a manead

Maenads were the original party girls and puck bunnies to the God Dionysos, and they got into quite some naughty business with the satyrs (I originally intended to post a photo of a scene on a Greek plate here, but it was a bit too graphic).

I sincerely hope that little kids all over the world will never know that Peter Pan is actually named after one of those satyrs, who had a whole harem of nymphs that he cavorted with (…yes, that’s where “nympho” comes from).

Funny how 2,000 years later, things haven’t changed much. To all the promiscuous college students out there, know that long before you, Greek mythological creatures were already partaking in their own fun.

If you want to read more about the history of penis symbolism, have a look at this page and this one. This fascinating parenthesis into our sexual mythology over, let’s go back to the calm island of Brač (how can you though, after seeing all those images?)

A Physical Morning

We shot some videos at an abandoned amusement park, then took a car to drive in the pined road on the north coast. We stopped at a creek to shoot other acrobatic workout videos.

Further on, we stopped in the village of Postira when we saw this beautiful football pitch. We just knew we had to run sprints around it. After another solid hour of shooting videos, including pushups with a bunch of kids who were playing football, we went on our way.

Postira football pitch in Brač (Croatia)

Lunch in Pučišća

At lunchtime, we arrived in the little harbour town of Pučišća.

Pučišća harbour in Brač, CroatiaPučišća in Brač, Croatia

We decided to sit down at a restaurant serving pizza. We each had one pizza and one plate of pasta (mine marinara, his bolognese).

Pizza and pasta in Pučišća, Brac (Croatia)

At the end of this full meal, Jarelle was about to order a second pizza, but I had to stop him. We were already 3-4 hours behind schedule, and because of this, didn’t have enough time to visit the Olive Oil museum and Stonemasonry school of Pučišća, which came highly recommended. My whole philosophy is that eating a 2nd pizza has diminishing returns when compared to taking that extra one hour it’d take to experience something new (like visiting a stonemasonry school… when do you ever do that?). I will write a more in-depth article on this philosophy soon.

Heading in the Moutain to Vidova Gora

At around 4pm, we took the car again and headed into the mountains at the centre of the island. It was on these roads that Jarelle had the great idea of sitting on the edge of the open window and filming some great footage with the GoPro. With a lesser, weaker, man I would have closed the window to push his ass back inside, but this is Jarelle we’re talking about: a flexible, accomplished gymnast, with 175 pounds of pure muscle.

We arrived at the highest lookout point of the island, named Vidova Gora. This plateau offered a panoramic view on the southern part of the island, with the pointy Zlatni Rat Beach far down in the distance, next to the town of Bol. We could also see the island of Hvar across the channel, with its beautiful coastline and forests.

Brač island, Croatia

We spent an hour shooting some premium death-defying workout videos, climbing up and down rocks to find the best vantage points. Of course, when we went back to the car, I couldn’t find the keys in any of my pockets. So we went back to our last shooting location (had to climb down some rocks again), scanned the ground at an shiny object with an orange tag (from Sixt Rent a Car), and miraculously found it.

To go down to the town of Bol (where we would spend the night), instead of following the directions given by Google Maps (which had done us wrong in Plitvice), we engaged on a road which seemed shorter on the map. After driving 15 minutes, and with a beautiful vista over the coast, the asphalt ended abruptly as we looked at the unbuild sandy road in front of us. We made a U-turn and followed the initial GPS directions, arriving in Bol 45 min later.

A “Relaxing” Evening in Bol

After dropping our stuff at our apartment, we walked to the 4-star Bluesun Hotel Elaphusa for a session at their awesome spa. We arrived quite late, so the sauna was supposedly closed, but we befriended the kind receptionist and she stealthily let us in through a revolving wooden door into a soothing luxurious environment worthy of pachas and kings.

The sauna and steam rooms weren’t very hot, so we didn’t stay more than 10-15 minutes, but it was fun feeling a bit like we were doing something forbidden. We then headed into the indoor swimming pool and hot tub area, where we could stay 2 hours. We of course shot more acrobatic videos.

Romain dab in Bluesun Hotel Elaphusa Spa in Bol, island of Brač (Croatia)Spa reception in Bluesun Hotel Elaphusa Spa in Bol, island of Brač (Croatia)

I also watched a bemusing scene on the outdoor swimming pool bar, where 2 French female hotel employees were entertaining old French guests with some dance and bad karaoke, wondering what they must feel like inside (are they happy, or do they make fun of their guests?).

Back at our apartment, Jarelle and I went to a nearby restaurant (pretty much the only one open), and had an unhealthy amount of food. In hindsight, I wonder if this was the specific time when Jarelle subconsciously decided to stop eating meat… Jarelle discovered caprese salads for the first time, “black egg” (which sounds cool but is just olive oil, balsamic vinegar and salt that you dip your bread in), and crepes. He tried to convert our waiter into a bro by talking about women, but couldn’t quite succeed in breaking his professionalism. We did get a password from him for a scuba diving school instructor though.

Caprese salad in Bol, Brač CroatiaBarbecue Meat in Bol, Brač (Croatia)Blueberry Crepes in Bol, Brač (Croatia)

After this belly-burst of a dinner, we headed to the town center to go to the only bar/club open outside the high season: Vagabundo. It was a little outdoor lounge bar with a dancefloor, just full of young English people making a mess of themselves. I have to give creds to the DJ though, he was awesome: just some great hip-hop and house music. Jarelle put on the kind of dance moves that you just don’t see outside the U.S. and got on the mental map of every single lady in the bar. As I watched, I was reminded of those notoriously famous 90’s song lyrics: “♪ You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals, So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel ♪.

Tarantulas shooting in a basket

Later in the night, at 3am, tired as hell but motivated, I opened up my laptop to watch the 3-hour-long Game 3 of the NBA Finals. Jarelle arrived a bit later, recounting an eventful night full of bad twists and turns, but that’s a story for another time.

After a thriller of an ending that culminated in this Kevin Durant clutch 3-pointer, I went to bed at 6 am.

Flying Men at the Zlatni Rat Beach

Waking up at noon, I headed by myself to the harbour. There was a quaint little market that was selling some delicious cheap apricots, of which I bought a bunch (only to lose all those savings by buying some expensive skin lotion at the pharmacy 10 minutes later).

Going back to the apartment, Jarelle was waking up with difficulty, and after eating some apricots, the sugar rush put him on his feet fresh to start the day. We left the apartment and walked the shaded promenade from Bol to Zlatni Rat Beach. Below the pine trees, we found some outdoor workout bars, so of course we had to shoot a few kick-ass videos.

Workout at Zlatni Rat Beach, in Bol, Brac (Croatia)Walking to Zlatni Rat Beach, in Bol, Brac (Croatia)kitesurf in Zlatni Rat Beach, Brač (Croatia)

We didn’t stay long at Zlatni Rat Beach itself. It is beautiful, but like almost all beaches in Croatia, it’s made of pebbles and not ideal for lounging around. We did admire the flying kite surfers though:

Jarelle meditation in Zlatni Rat Beach, Brač (Croatia)

Taking the car, we rushed back through the mountains to Supetar (a 45-min drive) and took the ferry back to Split.

My verdict on Brač: Brač is a sleepy island, more barren than Hvar and with less diverse things to do in my opinion. Unless you go there in the high season (July-August), your options for going out and partying are very limited. There are still some nice small harbour towns (Supetar, Pučišća, Bol, Milna) where you can relax under the sun or shades of the pine trees, as well as some nice bays to anchor your sailing boat.


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romain broography.com

Romain

Welcome to BRO-ography! I am the Co-Creator, Romain. A 28-year-old living in Silicon Valley. I write as an outlet for my creative thoughts and as a way to shut off my monkey brain. Despite our totally different upbringings and personalities, Jarelle is the yin to my yang (#corny #bromance). Our friendship has made us better men both and we want to share what we learn along the way. Learning (and teaching what I know) is one of my biggest values. I find meaning in sharing our "BRO-Adventures" (when we do get the chance to have them), and everything I've learned about a wide-ranging list of subjects such as travel, food, work, philosophy... While I always try to inject humor and lightheartedness, my writing style might be a bit brainy at times. Know that I want to challenge you, so read up on the things that intrigue you and engage in a dialogue with us. I hope you find some enjoyment or nuggets of wisdom in our articles to help you become a better version of yourself.

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