SAYING BYE TO FRIENDS SUCKS 🙁
TIME TO READ: TWO MINS
Today is bittersweet. Bitter because I am losing something. Losing a close friend of my young adulthood that I grew close to during my college years. Sweet because in foresight, I want all of my friends to follow their true path in life, listen to that inner voice and let go of societal pressures. That is exactly why I admire this friend and his courage to break the chain of westernized societal engineering.
And that close friend is one of my best mates, Sam Fish, better known as “Sam I Am Fishy”, pretty lame right but he’s my boy!
Sam is a rebel by nature and intellectually sound. I had the unfortunate fortunate pleasure of meeting Sam my senior year of college in scuba diving class. We clicked instantly, cheating off each other’s homework and partnering up for scuba diving safety tests.
That sentence pretty much contradicts my first sentence about Sam but you’ll see what I’m talking about soon 🙂
There’s an insightful video by the School of Life called the “Purpose of Friendship” which brings clarity and direction to your social life, along with each role your “friends” are supposed to play in your life.
4 Types of friends:
- Thinking friend
Please, take 2 mins and check out the video then come back and finish the next sentence.
While most of your friends may only cover one or maybe even two of these roles, Sam has been my reassuring, fun and thinking friend.
Especially in the thought department.
Rabbit Hole Conversations
Do you have those friends that when you speak with them you can feel your neurons firing in your brain? Like, yes, I like you because I learn stuff from you. You challenge me. You help me grow.
One of the quintessential reasons I’ll miss my good friend Sam is because of the long intellectually challenging conversations we would partake in, weekly.
Picture Sam and I’s conversations like a tree. We would start off talking about politics (the base of the tree) and we would get down into the neuroscience of advertisements, the metacognition behind human thought, the subjective and individual interpretations of words and their meaning in correlation to the subject, failed relationships, how our parental upbringing affects our adulthood and failed relationships, etc.
Pretty much, Sam and I would start talking about one base topic, go into a rabbit hole of other topics, dig deeper into the rabbit holes of other topics, forget what we were talking about to begin with, then backtrack and finish previous rabbit holes conversations. Boy was this awesome!
What I loved about this was that time would fly as we conversed and grew brain cells.
Sam was also that friend that I could open up to about some of my personal, personal secrets. Things I wouldn’t tell God if he didn’t already know.
Sam was no saint either. I was able to view my best friend at his lowest point and was able to guide him in a better direction. Sam had a substance abuse problem, just like I had a womanizing problem back in college. One day Sam came to my place at 3 AM in the morning, indirectly asking for help. This was a true test to our friendship.
You know when you tell somebody or when somebody tells you “Call me if you need me” or “I’ll be there for you”? Sam and I had that transparent relationship where this cliché saying wasn’t superficial to any degree.
At this moment, I had to call my friend out on his BS and hold a mirror to his person.
I had to tell him “Bro I do not like seeing you this way and I know you don’t like seeing yourself this way. You need to change or I can’t be around you anymore because it is affecting me” We conversed till about 5 AM about it and progressively Sam got A LOT better.
And the best part was that there was never any judgment on either side. This is how true friendships should be.
Where is Sam now? Honestly, I don’t know. Wherever the wind blows and where his bike will take him.
Now he’s on his own path in life. A path of fulfillment, Independence, and sovereignty. Freedom of choice. Refusing to conform to the pressures of modern society – career, kids, title, status, money & marriage. I ask myself “Will this last? he’s still young, and 2 years from now, when he runs out of money and is sick of being alone on the road, the comfort of a stable job and a lovely girlfriend might change what he wants to do.”
The freedom and courage this takes is something I truly admire about Sam.
Even though I’ve traveled to far off islands and left my family when I was 20 to study abroad, I do not possess the courage he has to let everything go, sell all your belongings and go, not yet.
Love you broski, I truly wish you the best and I shall see you in the near future, hopefully soon.