Yes, the person who you are right now reading this very sentence.
Would you be friends with the person you are today?
Think of everything you may or not bring to the table as a friend:
Are you the:
- Fun friend?
- Polar Opposite friend?
- The smart friend?
- The friend everyone goes to for their problems. (I know I am)
- Are you the Loyal Friend?
- Or the friend that people can’t make life decisions without?
- None of the above?
When I ask this question to most of my friends I see the hesitation in their eyes. It’s as if they don’t think about themselves through this perspective.
You have to be critical with the people you spend your time with. You do VALUE your time, right? I was 22 when my brain started to hyper-analyze my social circle for me. I started asking myself these important questions:
- How does this person add value to my life?
- Does this person have my best interest at heart?
- Can I truly be myself around this person?
- If I were on my deathbed, would I be thinking about this person?
- Are they expressing visual joy/sadness/for me during the good, bad and sad times in my life? Can I see a human reaction?
If you have people in your life that don’t show human emotion in these critical human moments, you should question their place in your life.
I understand how hard and harsh this can be, especially went you may have friends you’ve known your whole life. But cuts need to be made if they bring you down or hinder you from reaching your professional or personal life goals.
He spoke about many universal truths during his lecture but one rule that pulled me was “Make friends with people who genuinely want the best for you!”
You know the feeling when a person cares for you deeply vs your other friends.
It’s a feeling in your gut. Your intuition speaks to you. They go the extra mile or give you something and you say “you didn’t have to do that”. It is because they REALLY didn’t have to but they did it anyways, and that lets you know they genuinely want the best for you.
The next time you have this feeling with a friend, internalize the moment and give genuine gratitude to that person, but more importantly, make a mental note to keep them in your life.
The Purpose of Friendship
Every decision you make in life should have a defined purpose behind why it brings you value. Therefore, you MUST define the value your friends bring to you.
I am an avid viewer of the YouTube channel “The School of Life.” This video enlightened me because it provided some much-needed clarity about the types of friends I already had and still need! Have a quick watch, this video is an investment in yourself!
You need a friend(s) that can help you grow in whatever professional endeavor you pursue. No matter what it is whether you become a painter, plummer, doctor or a lawyer.
The ideology you need to mentally accept and internalize is that you need people in your life that are better than you! And you know when they are. Your ego registers them as a threat to your being. Yet, they give you something “better” to strive for or become. Remove your ego. Your ego is your enemy! Moreover, “better” is subjective to whatever you think “better” is, especially when it comes to professional and personal growth.
This is the friend you can trust with your deepest darkest secrets. The ones you wouldn’t tell God if he already did know. That sentence was deep, I know.
They are in your life to calmly and gently let you know, you are not crazy. Reminding you that you are still human and you will continue to make mistakes.
This friend is pure escapism to you and the harsh realities of life.
When you think of this friend you tend to smile and reminisce about the last dumb thing you two did together. These are the friends you keep close because life can be so demanding and stressful, you know who they are!
Love the clarity that this friend brings to your mind.
“They ask probing questions that act as a mirror to assist us with the act of knowing ourselves.” You need people in your life that question you constantly. Admit it, sometimes you do things without thinking. We all do! But once again, remove your ego and answer the important questions they may ask you:
- Why are you doing this?
- Where is this decision going to take you 5,10 or 20 years from now?
- Do you understand why your insecurities drove you to make that choice?
- Why are you really seeing this person and what about them, in detail?
- Is this career choice going to give you the life you want?
- Do you even know what you want?
These friends challenge you and make you answer questions deep in your mind you put in a box. That is a good thing though because with challenge comes growth and in order to grow it takes critical conscious effort.
I hope this piece will help you look at your friends differently now. Small changes to people in your life will have a huge impact on your overall wellbeing, just give it time.
Seriously thank you for reading if you made it this far! Here at BROography, we appreciate all our fans and supporters!
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